The Forgotten Criterion of Psychological Safety: Mindful Speech

Psychological safety isn’t just about whether people feel safe to speak.
It’s about whether speech itself is safe for others to receive.

 

That might sound subtle, but it’s a distinction that sits at the heart of many conversations leaders are struggling with right now.

 

This question comes up regularly when we deliver Mental Health First Responder (MHFR) programs. Leaders are deeply committed to creating psychologically safe environments. They want people to speak up. They want honesty. They want openness.

 

And yet, many of them quietly ask the same thing:

 

“What do we do when people speak, but the way they speak makes the room feel less safe?”

 

What We Already Know About Psychological Safety

You’re probably already familiar with the core idea.

 

Psychological safety, as defined in the research, is about creating an environment where people feel safe to take interpersonal risks. That includes asking questions, admitting mistakes, raising concerns, and sharing ideas without fear of punishment or humiliation.

 

The research is clear:

• Teams perform better
• Learning increases
• Risks are surfaced earlier
• Innovation improves

 

Most guidance rightly focuses on leadership behaviour:

• Listening without defensiveness
• Encouraging input
• Responding with curiosity rather than blame
• Modelling vulnerability

 

These are essential. They matter.

But they are only part of the picture.

 

The Tension Leaders Are Actually Facing

In practice, leaders are navigating a more complex reality.

People are encouraged to speak their truth, especially about stress, workload, frustration, and emotional strain. This is a positive shift. Silence helps no one.

 

But something else is happening at the same time.

 

Honesty is increasingly expressed:

• Through blame rather than ownership
• Through accusation rather than explanation
• Through emotional discharge rather than dialogue

 

The result?

A space that is technically safe to speak, but emotionally unsafe to be in.

This is the moment where psychological safety quietly breaks down.

 

The Missing Half of the Conversation

Most psychological safety education is framed from one direction.

 

How do we listen better?

Far less attention is given to the other side of the interaction.

 

How do we speak in a way others can stay present with?

 

Psychological safety is not created by one person holding space alone.
It is co-created, moment by moment, by how people show up on both sides of a conversation.

 

And this is where something important is often forgotten.

 

When Mindfulness Is Out of Balance

This isn’t primarily a communication skills issue.
It’s a presence issue.

 

When mindfulness is out of balance, one of two things tends to happen in conversation:

• Emotion overwhelms awareness and speech becomes reactive
• Calm detaches from engagement and difficult conversations are avoided

In the first case, people speak from emotion without regulating it.
In the second, people withhold truth in the name of peace.

 

Neither creates psychological safety.

 

Mindfulness, in its balanced form, is not about suppressing emotion.
It’s about noticing what’s happening inside you before you release it into the room.

 

A Familiar Example From MHFR Training

In MHFR programs, we teach the LIFT process.
It begins with Listen, and for good reason.

 

Listening matters. Deeply.

 

But leaders often ask:

 

“If listening is so important, why do some conversations still escalate?”

 

The answer is simple and uncomfortable.

 

Listening alone doesn’t make a conversation safe.

 

How we speak determines whether others are able to listen in return.
When speech is driven by unregulated emotion, urgency, or blame, it overwhelms the very safety we are trying to create.

 

Psychological Safety Is Relational, Not Individual

A critical misunderstanding is treating psychological safety as an individual right rather than a shared responsibility.

 

Psychological safety does not mean:

• Saying everything exactly as you feel, exactly when you feel it
• Offloading emotion without regard for impact
• Calling harm “honesty”

 

It means something more mature.

It means:

• Staying connected to your experience and the people in front of you
• Expressing truth in a way others can stay present with
• Regulating yourself before asking others to feel safe with you

 

This is where mindfulness becomes practical, not abstract.

 

Mindful Speech: The Forgotten Criterion

Mindful speech is not about being polite or soft.
It is about being aware.

 

Aware of:

• What you’re feeling
• Why you’re speaking
• How your words are likely to land
• Whether your goal is to be heard or to be understood

 

Without this awareness, psychological safety becomes fragile and easily undone by unregulated honesty.

 

With it, conversations can hold truth, emotion, and respect at the same time.

 

A More Complete View of Psychological Safety

So perhaps it’s time to expand the way we think about psychological safety.

 

Not as something leaders create for others,
but as something people create with each other.

 

Psychological safety isn’t just about whether people feel safe to speak.
It’s about whether speech itself is safe for others to receive.

 

That is not a lower standard of honesty.
It is a higher standard of presence.

 

And in today’s workplaces, it may be the most important one of all.

 

From Insight to Practice

One of the misconceptions about mindfulness is that it requires time away from life.
In reality, awareness often starts in motion.

 

Our emotions are some of the earliest indicators of how we’re doing, long before words or behaviour catch up. When we’re unaware of them, we tend to speak from our emotional state rather than with awareness of it.

 

A simple way to build mindful speech is to build emotional awareness first.
Not to analyse or fix emotions, just to notice them.

 

That pause alone can change how conversations unfold.

 

This is part of what led us to create Emotional Pulse. It is a simple daily check-in practice designed to build emotional awareness in real life, not outside it. Over time, that awareness extends beyond the individual, helping people stay attuned to how those around them are feeling and to the emotional climate teams are operating within.

 

You can learn more about how Emotional Pulse can support you, your loved ones, your team and your organisation to embrace a simple form of mindfulness into you day, and create a account (for free) on the website.

 

Because psychological safety doesn’t just live in policies or intentions.
It lives in the emotional conditions people bring into conversations every day.